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Socceroos Drinking Game

Thursday, June 13, 2013

The party is almost ready to kickoff. The Socceroos stand 90 minutes (plus injury time plus fellow Group B opponents protest duration plus appeal proceedings) away from sealing their economy seats to Brazil. Our place to the premier sporting event in the world is almost secure so importantly we should all collectively stock our eskies, fire up our barbies and get your mates over...bla bla bla stereotypical Australian jargon.
 
Ognenovski, Australia's biggest troll? Not with that haircut.
We at The Football Sack are backing the boys in green and gold to do the right thing and because we are such great blokes we also feel it necessary to assist the public in celebrating what will hopefully be another fine night in Australian sporting history. So we present to you the Socceroos World Cup Qualification drinking game.

This game will fill you up with enough life-is-good-juice to help you celebrate our qualification in the most epic and messy manner possible. If things go badly it won’t matter because it is highly doubtful that you will make it through to the final whistle anyway.

Good luck and enjoy next week’s hump day hangover. Come on the Green and Gold! 

SOCCEROOS DRINKING GAME

ONE DRINK
  • Australia punts a ball long up to “the big men”
  • Opposition player dives
  • Robbie Kruse or Tommy Oar caught offside
  • Yellow ticket
  • Backheel
  • Holger Osieck shown on screen with sad/haunted/sour look on face
  • Striker/winger gives thumbs up to midfielders/defenders attempted throughball goes out for throw
  • Enthusiastic commentators come out with half-baked metaphor
  • Every time opposition asks for “one of our boys” to be booked
  • Woodwork is hit by ball
  • Player's own woodwork is hit by ball
  • Mark Milligan puts ball over bar from shot (drink up everyone)
  • Commentator mentions Tim Cahill’s 2006 efforts versus Japan
  • Sasa Ognenovski trolls opposition (extra drink if player bites back)

CONSUME REMAINDER OF BEVERAGE
  • Australia scores at either end (double for OG – behave yourself Jedinak)
  • Missed pen
  • Scored pen
  • Red ticket
  • Australian scores bicycle kick (go door to door making your neighbours drink too for such an impossible event coming to reality)
  • Australian leftback makes critical error that costs goal (Carney may be out of the reckoning but seriously that position makes you need to drink)
CONSUME REMAINDER OF FRIDGE + LIQUOR CABINET
  • Australia qualifies for the World Cup 

The Football Sack does not condone the abuse of alcohol, only the hilarity that ensues when for example your Bresciano-styled top corner lounge room freekick smashes your mothers entire ornamental porcelain chicken set into a million pieces.